Thank you very much for reading this blog. My name is Jeremy Pei, and I am a Professional Magician based in Singapore.
The main reason for writing this blog is to leave behind my personal thoughts and life experiences, and I kind of felt that people do value the words in writing more then just hearing it on a video or audio file. My initial plan was to write a book, however I am not that disciplined in completing one, therefore this blog project shall be the process of writing the “60 Year Old Magician” book.
Then again, why am I writing this project now?
It was 2 years ago that I met with a life changing experience. I suffered injuries from a freak car accident, warded for 2 weeks and thought my life from then on would never be the same again. However, I was very positive during the recovery process, and got back on stage to perform my shows 2 months after the accident. That accident made me realize how fragile life is, and that I should really treasure the people and possessions which I own.
All was good, until March 2013, I went back for a repeat MRI Brain scan, then the doctor spotted something strange up there. The doctor suspected it to be a low grade glioma, simple terms it is a brain tumor, laymen terms it is cancer. As the doctor was just suspecting on the growth, I went on to seek 6 other specialist in Singapore. Everyone of them gave me a the bad news that it was indeed a brain tumor.
I went into serious depression during that time, people around me would think that I am alright, however i feel so down and puzzled when I am alone. I was searching online daily on the topic of brain tumor and other related illnesses, other then that I was being surrounded by many friends who cared about my illness. Friends were offering all sorts of alternative treatment, religious people were offering me miracle healing and prayers. I am very grateful for their concern, however the more all these stuff are push to me, the more sick I feel as a human being.
In the year 2013, I went through 5 MRI brain scans which the doctor recommended me to do every 2-3 months to monitor the growth. The cost aside, it was indeed a dreadful experience to enter the machine and sleep throughout an hour of noisy vibrations.
After every test, the doctor would also recommend me surgery or chemotherapy treatment. The worst news is knowing the position of my tumor is in a very sensitive spot, I have to do the surgery without anesthetic, so as to prevent me from suffering post moterm sickness such as stroke, paralyzed or going dumb. I simply tell the doctor each time that I will not let them cut my brain open until the day I collapse. Some specialist are telling me to delay this operation as well, cause they know my life would definitely change the moment I go through it.
It was at the last quarter of 2013, then I decided to not focus on this illness, and live a normal life. Apart from feeling low myself, my family members are feeling worst looking at me that way I feel, so acting normal and living a normal life is the best way to distract them. I came from a family whereby my Dad was suffering from a lot of various sickness in his lifetime, he have to take a huge dosage of medicine and injections daily. In 2005, he suffered from a serious stroke, that impacted the entire family. My Mom was taking care of my Dad for 6 years before he passes, I was working hard to support and help the family as much as I could at that time too.
In early 2014, while doing an MRI scan, I told the doctor to give me a 6 months period before the next scan. Basically, from the day I found out about the tumor, I am just buying time when I see the doctor. I ever asked the doctor a direct question, as in why are they recommending me the various surgery and treatment? Is it just to extend my lifespan in this world? And of course the answer is yes. My reply to that is, I can live a long life but that would not be fruitful if I am not happy and the people around me are not happy too.
In short, I may not live a very long life, but that does not stop me from living a life that is extremely fruitful and happy. Many people are working hard for their future, my personal thoughts is to live your life now and plan for the future. You will never know if the future will come, we see in the news about accidents which happen, people who suffer from sudden illness etc. I have an uncle who worked hard his entire life for the family, the day when he decided to retire and travel the world, he feel ill and was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, he was admitted and passed in 2 weeks. I have heard of stories whereby people pass away in accidents and could not say good bye or experience their life fully.
Having said this, I am not recommending for you to be unreasonable and spend all the money you have on luxuries and extravagant lifestyle, one need to be reasonable and satisfied with their lifestyle to be happy. If you are living a productive lifestyle, striking a balance between work, family, friends and self, I think you are living a very happy life.
So, you may wonder why the blog is “A 60 year old magician”? I turn 30 as this blog is published. Imagine, if I multiply every sec, hour, day, month and year by two, then I would have just celebrated by 60th birthday! I am recommending this theory not for you to live your life now like you are twice your age, however if apply this thinking, you will tend to be more productive for every sec that you are alive.
The way I am using this theory myself, not knowing when the time bomb in my head would explode, I am kind of trying to live my life now like I am 60 years old. I am thinking that I would be trying to make more contributions to the magicians community in Singapore, helping young magicians in Singapore, own a magic shop (most of my friends agree that I would do this when I grow old), travel the world to places I enjoy. While doing all these, I still have to live a responsible lifestyle as I have my youthful wife as well as mom at home too. As mentioned before, I am trying to strike a balance doing all these things which I enjoy and passionate about.
Some may say how I manage my lifestyle expenses then? I am still working and doing my regular shows as well, however I am shifting direction into other things which I am more passionate instead. Money is not the main focus anymore. How to define someone as the richest in the world? I would not define the person in numbers, all I can say is that the richest you, is someone who is not in debt, and is fully satisfied in his/her lifestyle already. For me, we all know it is tough to avoid debts in Singapore, however my hard work and investments when I am young have been helpful is managing finance. I am also fully satisfied with my own personal lifestyle, so I am happy that way.
I hope that the information in this project may be able to inspire you in one way or another to be happy and passionate about your life, and may it be a magical one.
12th October 2014
Ps: I am turning 30 today.